


One Step Closer

by Callisto_HK



Series: Irreversible Step [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gibbs is kinda OOC, Hurt/Comfort, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:25:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7839397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callisto_HK/pseuds/Callisto_HK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can time actually heal all wounds? It might; if the right step is taken. Some scars will probably be left, but one can live with scars; it's an open wound that kills or in this case, breaks people apart. /Sequel to 'Irreversible Step' -  Contains some mild spoilers for season 11.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony sighed with exhaustion as he plopped onto the couch in his current condo and closed his eyes.

It'd been a long day, maybe longer than any other day in the last six months, because as far as he could remember, during those months, every day had been a long day. He was bone-tired and even thinking about a long, peaceful vacation in Jamaica couldn't cheer him up anymore.

He was just glad that his mission was almost over.

A double knock at the door made him open his eyes and he groaned as he pushed himself up to get to the door. "You better not have forgotten your keys again." He muttered under his breath.

"I swear, there's no way you could've-" he forgot the rest of his sentence when his eyes landed on the guy behind the door and his mind finally registered that it wasn't his teammate with whom shared the condo.

"Hi, DiNozzo."

Tony frowned before suddenly grabbing the guy's collar and dragging him inside. "What the hell are you doing here?" Tony growled angrily as he took a peek outside to make sure no one had seen them and then closed the door. "And how did you know I was here?"

"I needed to talk to you. It's been six months. Nine, since the day I-" the other man went quiet and studied Tony.

"Since the day you what?" Tony asked coldly; then he clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. "Do you have any idea what you could've just done to me by coming here?" He asked furiously. "What was so important that you had to risk everything?"

"Tony-"

"No. Answer my question, Gibbs. What was so important?"

He hadn't seen his boss over six months and by showing up at his door the man could jeopardize his whole mission.

"You left with no words. You just left a resignation letter on my desk and just vanished." Gibbs' tone was so different from what Tony was used to that it deflated Tony's anger.

He could clearly see the pain in his former boss' eyes and couldn't, for the life of him, understand what could've happened over a span of six months to make him look so old and tired.

A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach made him pale. "What's happened?" His tone was much softer. "I tried to keep up with the news, but I haven't heard much so far."

A ray of something close to hope shone in Gibbs' eyes. "Everyone is fine. Nothing's happened. Except-"

"Except what?" Tony frowned. "Wait. Is it your father?"

Gibbs shook his head. "The old man is fine."

"Then what?" Tony threw his hands in the air.

"My best agent is gone."

"Your best-" Tony stopped. Seriously? Gibbs was looking like that just because he'd been missing _him_? "Gibbs?"

"I've been looking for you the whole six months, Tony. I never gave up."

"Gibbs." Tony sighed. "What's this?" He really couldn't get it. He might've left with no goodbye, but he hadn't been on good terms with the others for a few months before that.

Things had changed since the day they all had made it clear that Tony had no friends among them.

Of course, after so many months, Tony wasn't angry anymore; he'd even forgiven them; but forgiving and forgetting were two different things and he just couldn't forget and well, he wasn't in a place to stay in touch with anyone from his old team. Not that he'd do that if he could.

"Since when you care so much when an agent leaves your team? Heck, even Stan Burly didn't get it like this. What's with this reaction?" He asked when Gibbs just stood there and studied him.

"You look more tanned. And what's that scar?" Gibbs avoided the question, pointing to the long scar on Tony's right arm; he was wearing a T-shirt and his arms were bare.

Walking back to his couch, Tony sat down wearily and rubbed his face. "Are you going to answer any of my questions? Because I won't hesitate to throw you out if you're here just to satisfy your curiosity."

"None of those agents were _you_." Gibbs finally started to talk, feeling certain that Tony would carry out his threat. "Not even Stan Burly. Not even... Kate. And I know I'm the one who drove you away, but the Navy Yard is just not the same without you. Happy?"

Tony's raised eyebrows showed his utter shock. "You sure everything is alright?" He asked after a few seconds. The only times he'd seen Gibbs that open, the older man had been grieving someone's loss.

"No, Tony. Everything is not alright. McGee is quiet and distant and when he talks to me he stammers like he's a probie again; Abby is a shell of herself and I can't stand the sight of your empty desk. I can't stand anything, anymore." Gibbs took a breath and sat down in one of the armchairs. "Do you have coffee?"

Tony smirked as he stood up. "Oh thank God, I was starting to believe you were a pod."

A couple of minutes later he was back with a large mug of coffee for Gibbs and a beer for himself. "You shouldn't have come here." He handed the older man his mug.

"I had to. I couldn't take it anymore. The moment I heard you could be here, I filled in the forms for an extended leave of absence and left. Couldn't even wait to see if Vance would OK it."

Tony's eyes were round. "You didn't inform anyone? And just who told you I was here? Because that means I have to take care of a few things now. We can't risk the whole operation."

"What operation?" Gibbs was suddenly back to his sharp self. "Are you on a mission? Is that why you left? Why the resignation letter then?"

"Whoa. Whoa. Slow down, Boss." Tony was so amused he didn't even notice the slip of the tongue; Gibbs did, though and he smiled slightly. "Is Abby hiding somewhere in there?" Tony continued. "Because you sounded just like her; what with so many questions and all."

"Tony, talk to me."

 _'First name again?'_ Tony wondered, when Gibbs, very uncharacteristically, kept using his first name. Then again, the Gibbs before him didn't share many similarities with the one Tony used to know. "You first." He demanded.

"I told you everything." Gibbs almost groaned. "I need you back. Please. Look, I... I'm sorry for the thing I said that day in the bullpen. I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong. Would you just come back?" He looked Tony in the eyes to show his sincerity. "I've talked to Vance. I don't need any other agents. I just need _you_ on that team and he's OK with it if I can convince you. This is my last resort. If you don't come back now, I'll resign, too."

Tony blinked with surprise. He was truly at a loss. For a moment he was sure he'd fallen asleep and woken up in a version of "Mission Impossible" with one of the guys he was spying on, disguising as Gibbs to trick him and kill him right then and there. He was almost tempted to go and pull at the skin on Gibbs' face to see if it'd come off; and he was pretty sure it would; just like in the movie.

So many things were wrong. Gibbs had given in and had talked first and he'd said ' _please_ ' and ' _sorry', twice,_ and hadn't even batted an eye, like those things weren't against his every rules and principles.

"Say something." Gibbs pleaded.

_Great. Now he sounded desperate._

"I..." Tony shook his head. "I gotta admit, I could never imagine my day going this way when I woke up this morning." He studied the older man while he tried to collect his thoughts. "Gibbs, thanks, I guess. Umm, it means a lot that you came this long way to tell me these things and... And to apologize. WOW." He really was baffled.

"Come back, Tony. Please."

"Sorry _and_ please. You're going to give me a heart attack." Tony sipped his beer, mostly to compose himself. "Look, Bo-" he caught himself this time. "Gibbs. I never meant to ruin what you had there. I just didn't think it was the right place for me anymore. And I didn't even want for you, _any one_ of you, to apologize. You haven't-"

"Don't say we haven't done anything wrong." Gibbs growled, sounding almost like his old self.

Tony smiled bitterly. "You know what that means?"

"It means I, for one, didn't mean a word I said that day. I've told you so before, but I guess after everything, I can't blame you for not believing me. And I'm not here to make up for what the others have done; it's their mess to clean up and I want you to know that I didn't know they were going out that night. Still I was out of line and I want you to know that it won't happen again. No more jokes at your expense."

' _Man, why didn't I leave sooner?'_ Tony chuckled inwardly. But he actually did miss his old place and... Well, almost his old team. He sure did miss Gibbs. Despite the hurtful words, Tony still liked the man and secretly looked up to him, and it especially felt right now that Gibbs had come such a long way to say those words to him.

He just wouldn't make himself the prey anymore. Not even to placate Gibbs. But, could he go back?

"I still can't come back." He said quietly.

Gibbs' shoulder dropped in defeat and sadness filled his eyes.

"Not because I don't want to." Tony added quietly. "I can't."

"I understand." Gibbs nodded, trying to sound like he did.

"No. No, you don't." Tony swallowed. "Look. I can't tell you much; just know that the reason behind my resignation wasn't because I hated your guts. I'm not five, Gibbs, and I sure am not a desperate house wife."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

Rolling his eyes, Tony said, "you know what I mean. I don't pack my stuff and leave the moment I see something I don't like and I don't cry and run away when things don't go my way. I left because I was picked for a secret mission and it was a huge one."

Gibbs suddenly remembered Tony mentioning an operation earlier. "Then why did you resign?"

"Because I didn't know if I was going to come back alive." Tony said with no trace of self-pity in his voice. "And because I wasn't sure I'd still have a place on that team if I returned after such a long time. And because this case is classified and I couldn't share anything with anyone and because I didn't feel like being interrogated and belittled by my so-called teammates for something they clearly don't understand. And by that I mean doing my job and keeping secrets when I have to." His voice had raised by the end of his tirade and when he was done, he felt so drained that he just sank into the couch and closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I guess that was well deserved." Gibbs stood from his seat and sat beside Tony. "So, this suicide mission of yours-"

Tony opened his eyes and glared at him, daring him to ask one single question about it.

Holding one hand up in defeat, Gibbs said, "Just wanna make sure you have the proper backup."

"Gibbs. The mission is almost over." Tony rolled his eyes again and pushed himself forward.

"Things still could go wrong."

"Yeah, I guess now that you're here, anyone else could show up, too." Tony sighed. "My backup is the best that there is and if anything was going to happen, it would've happened by now."

"Do I know him?" Gibbs inquired.

As if on cue, a key turned into the luck and the door to the condo opened.

"Gibbs?"

"Callen?" Gibbs sounded just as shocked.

"He's your backup?"

"What's _he_ doing here?"

Both men asked Tony at the same time.

Shaking his head, Tony smiled. "Yes, _he_ is my backup." He answered Gibbs' question first and then looked at G Callen. "I'm still trying to find out how he's found out about this place. We might need to change a few things."

Gibbs stood up and gave his old friend a semi-hug; glad to know that Tony was right about his backup being the best that was out there. If he couldn't have Tony's back, at least he was sure of the man who was doing it. "So you two are in this together?"

"You could say so." Callen smiled. "Do I need to call Vance?"

Tony shook his head. "Only if you really think he could do something about it."

"Hmm." Callen smiled knowingly. "So, what are you doing here?" He asked Gibbs, knowing that Tony had resigned before leaving for this mission. Tony hadn't shared much with him, but he could tell that he wasn't fond of talking about Gibbs and his old team which meant they hadn't parted on good terms.

"Had to apologize to a friend." Gibbs announced with no hesitation, not caring if it made him sound strange.

Callen looked between Tony and Gibbs, trying to see if the said friend had forgiven the old marine or not.

But who was he kidding? If anything, during the months spent with Anthony DiNozzo, he'd learned that he truly was the best undercover agent he'd ever seen or heard of and he'd worked with many of them; and now, once again, he was unable to see behind Tony's masks. He was sure Gibbs was one of the few people who could do that and the man was a mystery himself; so it was only fair if the two of them could read each other so easily.

Shrugging in defeat, Callen smiled widely. "Well, I'm afraid you have to leave now and you have to be quiet about what you saw here today."

Gibbs nodded, knowing that it was the best thing he could do at that moment.

"Come to my place when it's over, alright?" He addressed Tony and almost sounded like he was pleading again. "Whenever it is. And come back to the team; like I said all those years ago, you're irreplaceable."

Tony was a little taken aback by how openly Gibbs was praising him and in front of another agent! But Gibbs had been surprising him from the moment he'd shown up at his door. "I'll call you." It was the best he could promise for now and he hoped that he'd walk out of his mission well enough to be able to keep that promise.

Gibbs stared at him before smiling slightly. "OK. Thanks for listening." He then turned his gaze to Callen and glared at him. "You better watch his back."

"Of course." Callen smiled. "When we first started this mission, I told him that he'd better be extra careful, because I know you'd have _my_ head if anything happened to him."

"Damn right I will." Gibbs grinned and patted Callen's shoulder. "Thanks."

Callen nodded and left the room to give the other men a chance to say their farewells.

"Take care, Tony."

"You too, Gibbs. You'd better be there when I come -" he was about to say ' _home_ ', but somehow he couldn't bring himself to call it that. He'd severed all emotional ties with that place when he'd thought he was leaving for good.

Gibbs seemed to have read his mind once again. "I promised you that things would be different. All you have to do is concentrate on your mission now and then come _home_ in one piece."

Tony's smile finally reached his eyes and that little improvement lifted a heavy weight off Gibbs' chest and he left the condo with his steps much lighter than when he'd arrived less than an hour ago.

**.**

**.**

**... TBC ...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not for Ziva's fans!

Despite what Tony had told him about his mission being almost over, it took another seven weeks for Gibbs to hear anything about Tony again.

At first, when he came back from visiting Tony, he was happy. He'd smile every now and then and the changes in his behavior were so obvious that Ducky had outright asked him if he'd seen Tony; _because what else could change his mood like that?_ Gibbs, of course, had just smiled and said that he had no idea what Ducky was talking about. But the old ME had just chuckled while shaking his head, knowing the actual answer to his question.

After a while, though, when the time passed and he didn't hear anything from the currently undercover agent, he once again got worried and went back to his sour mood.

He couldn't decide which one of the scenarios in his head was the worst one, the one in which the mission was over and Tony had decided that he wasn't ready to deal with his old team and had once again disappeared with no word? Or the one in which the mission had stretched out. He didn't even want to think about the third option, in which the mission had gone wrong and something terrible had happened.

The only consolation was that Tony had promised to call him and ready to deal with them or not, Tony wouldn't break his promise.

And if anything had happened, someone would've informed him. Either Callen, or someone from his team in L.A or even Vance. He just knew someone would let him know if things had gone wrong and something had happened to Tony; because he couldn't exactly trust his gut feeling as he was too worried about so many possible scenarios.

That was why he'd opted to go with the second scenario, believing that the only reason there was still no news, was because the mission wasn't over yet. And although it wasn't a pleasant thought, it, at least, was much better than the alternatives.

So he decided to wait a while longer before going to Vance and demanding some answers. After all, Vance wasn't too happy with him at the moment; not that he cared or anything, but if he wanted to get some answers later, he had to behave for a while.

Vance had been outraged when he'd found out that Gibbs had used his so-called vacation to visit Tony. He'd called Gibbs to his office and had made it completely clear what he thought of Gibbs ' _selfish, rookie_ _mistake'_! He'd even threatened the ex-marine with a formal reprimand, but they both knew those things meant nothing to Gibbs.

But at least the Lead Agent had had the decency to feel and look disturbed for risking Tony's life and mission by rushing to his place without thinking or talking to Vance first.

Vance had made him talk about how he'd found out about DiNozzo's whereabouts, and when he heard that an old friend of Gibbs who was also a cop had seen Tony and had informed Gibbs, he ordered Tony and Callen to change their place and lay lower for a while.

Gibbs' visit had certainly slowed down everything.

Vance had also made Gibbs deal with the LEOs to make sure they wouldn't approach DiNozzo or Callen.

There was nothing else he could do at that moment and they all just hoped that Gibbs' visit hadn't ruined everything.

So, when things kept going as usual, they all breathed a bit easier, thanking their lucky stars that Tony had such a firm hold of the situation.

 _That_ had been six week ago.

Finally seven week after Gibbs' visit with Tony, on a Thursday night, Gibbs' phone rang and when he answered it, Tony was on the line, asking him if his invitation was still standing.

Dammit; he'd pretty much begged the younger man to forget those stupid words that had left his mouth that day in the bullpen; he'd almost begged for his forgiveness, and he still called first, sounding hesitant, before showing up at his place.

Well, at least the stupid mission was over and he could have his boy where he could always have an eye on him and he'd know what was happening to him. Or it'd be so _if_ Tony decided to stay. With everything that had happened lately, he preferred not to count his chickens before they hatched _._

Tony showed up at his doorstep a couple of hours after the call and it was almost midnight when he knocked on the door.

After the phone call, it didn't surprise Gibbs that Tony hadn't just entered the house; it was like the younger man was giving him a last chance to take his invitation back. He went and opened the door, looking composed and stoic, but the sight that greeted him did what the knock on the door hadn't done; it shocked him into silence.

Tony was leaning heavily on a cane and had an arm, which was in a large cast, carefully around his ribs. And he looked so pale and spent that as cliché as it might sound, he was the very definition of death warmed over.

"What the hell?" Gibbs finally blurted out and automatically went forward and helped Tony in the house, feeling even more concerned when Tony didn't resist his help and actually leaned against him.

"What happened to you? Where the hell is Callen?"

"Don't kill him." Tony grunted as he slowly lowered himself onto the couch. "He was actually a great help. And he's back in L.A. We came to the conclusion that it was better if he went back to his own team."

"What the hell happened and just how long ago was the mission over?"

"Umm, it's been a few days."

"Then why didn't anybody inform me?"

"I guess Vance wanted to get back at you." Tony chuckled.

Gibbs had to fight the urge to say something nasty out loud. "What happened?" He asked instead.

"Well, I can't go into details but at the end, things got a tad bit ugly." Tony sighed once the throbbing in his side subsided. "Callen was shot in the shoulder trying to get me out of there." He added to clarify the huge role his temporary partner had played in his survival.

"And you?"

"No permanent Damage."

"DiNozzo." Gibbs growled.

"Hmm, you sound like your old self this time."

Gibbs smirked, well aware of what his, _hopefully_ , soon to be SFA again was doing. "You can't avoid that question. Just answer it so we can move on."

"Fine." Tony growled. "Two gunshot wounds to the thigh. A broken arm and a couple of cracked ribs from falling down the stairs and a bullet to the side. The last one was more like a gouge, though. Just needed some stitches. "

"How long were you in the hospital?" Gibbs asked and tried to hide his concern over the list of Tony's injuries, knowing the younger man didn't like a fuss.

"Hmm. About three days, I guess." Tony yawned.

"You were discharged?"

"Surprisingly, yes." Tony grinned proudly, and then sobered. "Sorry for bothering you at this hour. I just... Well, I couldn't find my keys and wallet and didn't realize it until I was at the airport. I had a few bucks in my pocket, but it wasn't enough for me to check into a hotel." He said awkwardly.

Gibbs stared at him for a few seconds and felt a pang of guilt in his chest. "You're lucky then." He said, once again trying not to show his feelings at hearing Tony's words. "I would've shot you if I found out that you'd gone to a hotel instead of coming here."

Tony's smile was crooked but it was a smile nonetheless. "Thanks, I guess."

"You should've called me before landing; I would've come to the airport. And I'll shoot Callen for leaving you like this and for not letting me know what has happened."

"I asked him not to." Tony sounded firm, like he knew Gibbs could get what he meant and so he should leave that matter alone.

And Gibbs did get it and even though it was hard not to make Tony talk, he had to respect his friend's wish. "Lie down. I'll get you some pillows and a blanket."

"Thanks. Don't think I could make it upstairs."

"You need painkillers?"

"Not now. Maybe in a couple of hours."

Gibbs nodded and disappeared up the stairs.

Some minutes later, Tony had a glass of water with the bottle of his painkiller on the coffee table and was happily resting against the pillows that Gibbs had fetched him.

Sleep didn't seem to be around, though.

As tired as he was, there were so many thing on his mind that Tony couldn't calm down enough to go to sleep.

So he just lay there and stared at the ceiling, thinking about the house he was once again resting in. He'd thought that he'd never see the inside of it again. At least not willingly and yet, he had to admit that he hadn't felt this comfortable in close to a year and that said a lot with the amount of pain that was radiating from every inch of his body at that moment.

That thought scared him more than anything, though; because he couldn't go back to where he was before all this.

He really did want to believe Gibbs and move on, but it was hard when he remembered more than just one occasion when he'd been dressed down for no reason and the comments Gibbs had thrown his way knowing they'd hurt.  
But then again, he'd been able to forgive his father and that man had done things way worse than Gibbs had; he wouldn't forget what his father had done and he would never let his old man in completely, but in comparison, it shouldn't be hard at all to _forget_ Gibbs' mistakes and he knew he himself didn't make it easy for the others; he knew he'd made many mistakes.

The only thing was that it would always hurt a lot worse when the blow came from an unexpected source, from someone you trusted with your everything. And that was why he was determined not to let anyone, not even Gibbs, use him and see him as the comic relief again.

Enough was enough.

"The painkiller might actually help you sleep, you know?" Gibbs' voice startled him a bit and he winced as he jolted his healing ribs and side. He hadn't come out of undercover mode completely and letting his guard down was a bit hard; hearing unexpected noises was even worse.

"Didn't mean to startle you." Gibbs grimaced in sympathy.

"It's alright." Tony tried to reassure. "And I will take a Vicodin in a few."

Gibbs nodded his head. "So, have you decided whether you want to come back to the team or not?" He asked when he saw that the younger man wasn't going to get sleep any time soon. He really needed to know the answer to that question or he wouldn't be able to sleep, himself.

"Huh?" Tony blinked in confusion. "Oh. Umm, I... Yes, I will if-"

"Good." Gibbs' happy voice cut him off.

And Tony fought the urge to laugh at the joy in the older man's voice. It felt great to know he was actually wanted. Well, maybe he could settle down again.

After all, Gibbs had done a lot of good things for him and if he was so fed up that he couldn't forget the mistakes, he was still a fair person. He'd never forget the favors that people had done him.

He supposed he could _hide_ a few scars and some hurt feelings; _because those scars wouldn't just go away, really_. And somehow, it felt like the Lead Agent was genuine in his effort _and_ he was showing so many feelings that Tony hadn't seen in over _twelve years_ of working with him.

"I'll arrange things tomorrow and you can come back to work whenever you are ready to sit behind a desk. Desk duty until you can run around again."

"Of course."

"One more thing." Gibbs seemed hesitant.

"What?" Tony frowned.

"Ziva's gone." He needed to inform his Senior Field Agent beforehand.

"What?" Tony's eyes widened. "I thought you said-"

"No. Not _dead_ gone. Gone as in she's resigned and has gone back to Israel."

Tony's eyebrow rose this time. "Huh. Why?"

"I guess she couldn't take the pressure that your absence had caused. Or maybe she had an epiphany. Who knows?"

Tony snorted. "Yeah. Right." He dug deep down to feel a little bit of remorse at hearing that news, but found out that there was none. He felt nothing about her permanent leave. "Wait." he suddenly frowned. "So it's been just you and McGee?"

"Of course not. A two man team is not something I can have with just anybody. We've had different TADs sitting at Ziva's desk."

"Hmm." Tony looked up at the ceiling. "So things really _have_ changed." He said and thought that maybe _now_ McGee would act less hostile and be less wicked, because if he was honest with himself, everything had started to get messy when Ziva had joined the team.

She used to be his teammate and he'd always have her back, but there were times that he doubted Ziva had his.

Of course, it wasn't all on Ziva; McGee had always had the tendency to feel superior, but he could put him in his place. That wouldn't be a problem anymore. He knew how to treat him now and he would make sure that the junior agent and any added member to the team knew that he was their superior and they had to respect him and his position.

Friends, no more!

He wouldn't let them walk all over him again and if he did it right this time, he might actually be able to feel less suffocated around them.

He'd do his job and enjoy it and he'd make sure everyone knew where he was standing with the team and somehow he knew that this time Gibbs would have his back all the way; because if the older man forgot it again after a while, then Tony would really leave. He had some standing job offers he wouldn't mind considering.

"That's what I told you." Gibbs' response brought him out of his thoughts. "And once you come back, everything will finally fall into place."

Tony looked Gibbs in the eyes and realized that he didn't hate the idea of getting up and going to the Navy Yard every morning anymore. He, of course, would keep his distance to prevent getting hurt, again, but at least it didn't feel like a torture anymore. "Thanks, I guess." He said quietly.

It was a rare and very strange sight, but when Gibbs smiled, his smile was wide and bright. "No, Tony. Thank _you_."

**.**

**.**

**... The END ...**


End file.
